Episode 31 – Sex, Drugs, and Mental Illness | I'm not Comfortable with This

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Episode #31 In this episode, Forrest and Ben talk about why people shouldn’t use mental illness as an insult, why drugs are bad, and why teenagers are …

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  1. I listen to the podcast on Spotify when I’m traveling in train or working in lab. And I really enjoy the content of your podcast. But I have a critic, more technical. Usually Ben doesn’t speak as loudly as Forrest. So I have to keep adjusting the volume accordingly because I cannot blast it out loud in lab on my AirPods for example. I still need to know what’s going on around me. So can you really consider that!!!!

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  4. 7:15

    drops finger and sighs it took so long for me to drop that mindset and actually start facing everything. 7 years? 8? Somewhere around there, two years after I got out of the situation. Always always being like "I can't have possibly gone through something that bad, I wasn't that one 15 yo boy who was an escort, it's nowhere near that and so I have no room to complain" (biggest one that stuck in my head because I've been so close to being in that exact situation) while going through shit I either couldn't or didn't want to acknowledge. Wasn't until I actually started acknowledging it did I even get the thought of "I was only looking at worse situations as an excuse" never mind even talk about it at all. The situations I used as an excuse weren't even all that worse, seem worse to think about but about on par if not better, that seems like a massive statement, but uh… It's a bit heavy even for shock sites. I was 14 on my first visit to a mental hospital for having been through abuse for who knows how long (I don't have any memories from before 11, and even then they're far and few between till 12/13. From various incidents I've learned of, my first therapy session was when I was 8 or 9 and I got pulled from them because my mother "didn't like the techniques being used" as "it was slow" due to "anytime something was touched apon" I'd "go completely silent till the next morning". So uh, yeah. I think that speaks enough on the topic)

    I do have PTSD, and in hindsight have likely had it for a long time. It wasn't till that first vist, suicide attempt, that I actually had to even really acknowledge any of it and led to the whole type of excuse of "it's not that bad" "I have no room to talk about this topic" etc. So uh, careful there

    (Also on the drug and all that stuff, I want to do shit exactly because of how you described it, shit I've heard so much. Yet I know to not, if I do I know to be careful. I've grown up with alcoholics, drug addicts, and sexworkers/addicts. I love being drunk, it takes away the normal wall I can't get down myself, but I know it's fucking dangerous and especially since I get black out off two shots.)

    *****trigger warning*****

    (And I 100% agree on the fantasy/real separation not being enough, I took SO hard to it because I couldn't get out of the situation I was in. I was 19 when I got out of it, last fucking year I completely got out. It was never even questioned, if anything encouraged. It's a very heavy lasting affect that just doesn't go away on it's own, and people aren't aware that it's dangerous, someone can take actions that are both physically and mentally very dangerous to other people and themself. Out of my five friends, two of us dodged bullets, me and my mate. The other 3… Sobering experiences. You hear about people who manipulate others because they see no consequence, you hear about people who take their own life because there will be someplace else, you hear about people that threaten or do take other people's live out of some "just cause", you don't see it happen. The only reason both of us aren't like that is because guess who had to deal with what came before those incidents. It's a lot. And to think 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 year old people are capable of it… Fuck. And we took their shit, between knives, threats, and constant harrasment. We were the most vulnerable even if we all went through a lot of shit and have some fucked up imaginations to match, and that also might be what got us to notice, having been abused by family, strangers, and friends alike. And at the same time, our toxicity was probably the most safe, not safe as suicide pacts entered more than once, but since it relied on someone else it was better than the shaky brittle towers. (codependence, and don't worry we've stuff sorted at least enough, with near 3 years without talking or seeing once. Obviously not entirely gone as it doesn't just go away in three years, but it's enough where we can navigate after reflections and therapy and learning the skill to navigate it.) So yeah… I feel like I'm going to puke after thinking about that all again… Like I said, too much for even a shock site)

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  5. I heard an interesting take on the comparative sadness thing once. We never apply the same logic to the other end of the spectrum, like "oh yeah? What do you have to be happy about? Joe just got a promotion, engaged, AND closed on a house this week!" So why do we do it with sadness?

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  8. I love getting too high and thinking about what reality really is. In small doses it takes some anxiety away and makes me think clearer. For me weed definitely a gateway drug because I'd go see the dealer and he would say "I don't have weed but here are these oxys". Now I'm a lifelong opioid addict

    Everyone knows Bernie Mac come on man

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